How Anxiety Underestimates You — And How to Prove It Wrong

Anxiety often feels like an all-knowing voice, warning us about every possible misstep or disaster that lies ahead. But what if that voice is wrong? What if your anxious thoughts are based on a distorted view of your capabilities rather than an accurate reflection of who you are?

The truth is, anxiety thrives on underestimating your strengths. It convinces you that you’re unprepared, incapable, or unequipped to face future challenges, even though that’s far from reality. Understanding this dynamic is key to giving your anxious parts the reality check they need and reclaiming your confidence.

Anxiety’s Faulty Premise: Fear of the Future

Anxiety is never about the here and now. It’s a projection—a mental rehearsal of imagined worst-case scenarios that haven’t even happened. This is important to remember: anxiety doesn’t arise from what’s currently happening; it’s rooted in fear of what might happen. This projection is often based on an incomplete or overly negative view of your ability to handle future events.

When anxiety speaks, it overlooks your resilience, your tenacity, and all the ways you’ve overcome challenges before. It focuses solely on perceived threats while ignoring your strengths. By recognizing this, you can start to challenge the stories anxiety tells you and rewrite them in a way that reflects the truth of who you are.

How to Give Your Anxiety a Reality Check

Here are some practical ways to counter anxiety’s tendency to underestimate you:

1. Remind Your Anxiety of Who You Are

When your anxious parts take over, they often forget your past wins. Take a moment to remind yourself of your own resilience. Think about the times you faced something new or intimidating and came out stronger. For example:

• Did you successfully navigate a challenging project at school or work?

• Have you adapted to a big life change, like moving to a new city or starting a new job?

• Did you walk through a difficult time and find your footing again?

Revisiting these experiences helps ground you in the reality of your abilities and shows your anxious parts that you’re more capable than they believe.

2. Focus on the Present Moment

Since anxiety is tied to the future, anchoring yourself in the present can cut through its power. Practice grounding techniques, like deep breathing or mindfulness, to bring your focus back to what’s happening right now. Remind yourself: At this moment, I am safe. Nothing catastrophic is happening.

3. Reframe Your Inner Narrative

Challenge the “what if” scenarios that anxiety creates by reframing them with positive or neutral outcomes. For example:

• Instead of “What if I fail this presentation?” try: “What if I do a great job, or at least learn something valuable from the experience?”

• Instead of “What if I don’t know what to say?” try: “What if I’m able to figure it out in the moment, like I’ve done before?”

4. List Your Resources

Anxiety makes you forget the tools and support you have at your disposal. Take stock of your internal and external resources, such as:

• Skills you’ve developed

• Supportive friends or mentors

• Knowledge you’ve gained

• Strategies that have helped you in the past

When you list these resources, it’s easier to see that you’re not heading into challenges empty-handed.

5. Visualize Success

Rather than letting anxiety fill your mind with worst-case scenarios, actively visualize yourself handling the situation with confidence. Imagine yourself staying calm, using your strengths, and navigating the moment with grace. This not only shifts your mindset but also prepares your brain to respond more effectively when the time comes.

Anxiety’s Biggest Trick: Robbing You of Perspective

Anxiety narrows your vision, making you lose sight of the bigger picture. It obscures your view of who you really are: someone who has faced uncertainty before and emerged stronger. By giving your anxious parts a reality check, you can remind yourself that you’re not defined by fear. You are resourceful, resilient, and capable of handling whatever comes your way.

When you stop letting anxiety underestimate you, you unlock your ability to meet each moment as it comes—with clarity, confidence, and the knowledge that you are more than enough.